Really Bro?

Your dad's a recovering alcoholic. Stop drinking.

Anti-Climactic

Seriously. I waited all day. DYING to know what was up. For this? Bro, I know you're venting, but you're retelling my life with different names. I know how this ends. You can stop now.

YOU LITTLE SH*T

Why the F*CK AM I SO ANGRY? HOLY DAMN CRAP THE HYPOCRISY INVOLVED IN THIS. I WANT TO KILL IT. UGH. I f*ckin' hate myself. Sammy, shut the f*ck up.

Parasocial

The problem with parasocial relationships is how personal they become. You feel like you know them so well, even though there's a world of things you never will know. But you love all the things you see. So on the one hand, you're happy for them when they find someone that makes them happy. Thrilled even! Especially when they're finally comfortable enough with that happiness that they can express it publicly. But then you're also jealous because they're no longer available and there's no way they'd see you. Which makes no sense. Because there was literally (literally in it's literal sense. Not a hyperbole. The LITERAL form of the word LITERALLY) zero possibility of anything happening. Not just with fictional characters, but celebrities, too. Because of age gap, distance, social circle, etc. So why does it hurt? 'Cause we're whiny teenagers.

Yeah, I'm talking about Joe Holmes (Plus2Joe) and Kristina Horner (italktosnakes). But this applies to honestly any parasocial relationship. Kyou Sohma comes to mind (aka most perfect boyfriend ever written on a page that, if real, I would drop everything for without hesitation. Once again, speaking literally). Welp Kristina, you are amazing and fantastic and I am so incredibly happy that you've reached a place in your life where you are happy. But I dunno how I'll feel about whatever lucky girl takes Daniel Howell (danisnotonfire). Kidding. When the time comes, she's gonna be fantastic, too, I already know.

Unimportant thoughts. I'm just another 18 year old single girl, who is like everyone else in her demographic. Except I act like a hyper, childish, naive 5 year old. Or a whiny, immature 12 year old depending on my mood. Enough about me. Let's talk about Clara C. 'Cause she's perfect. Better yet, no more words. Just listen.

Makes Sense to No One But Me

Thank you for never being attracted to me ever. Legit. THANK. YOU. I need guy friends. I'm dependent on them. It's all I've known for so long. But I don't really have that here. So having you around to be fully open and honest with is basically saving my sanity. Thanks. The issue is though, I'm too used to that being something more. Sort of. More so, I'm used to my friends, at random points, deciding they like me. And then me, knowing full well that they don't, going out with them anyway. And then starting to gain hope. And then being dumped. Because I was a rebound, or a hookup, or just the desperate choice. And they stay my best friends. And I know they'd never purposely do anything to hurt me. And I know that they're good guys who really don't do that to girls ever. But for the briefest of moments, it hurts. And creates a history. We suddenly have a more complex relationship, even if we don't act like it, because we were a thing once. That's high school me. And high school me got hurt often. So you basically saying I'm not that pretty? Yeah, kinda hurts. But you're not saying anything I don't already know. Meanwhile, I'm thankful. Because we'll never be anything more than friends. That is the guarantee you've given me. And it's one I've needed from my boys for a very long time.

Priorities IN CHECK

Jess: I'm trying to regain my strength.
Me: But didn't you actually want to lose muscle because you wanted to regain your flexibility?
Jess: Yeah. See. I have a problem with that. 'Cause... Sex. Would be nice.

Funny How

My best friend is in Canada. Has been for 4 years. And then there's this kid who means so much to me, and tells me I mean even more to him, off in Florida. And I haven't seen him in at least 2 years.

And I still talk to them more than I do you. Like, they both make it a point to hold conversations with me as often as possible.

This isn't me being mad or whining or blaming you. I just think it's kind of crazy. Especially because I'm watching 3 guys chase Jess at once. Like, try so dang hard. And then I look at us and think... I'm chasing him. And I shouldn't be. We should be equals by now. But we're not. I wonder if I know what's good for me. I mean, not to say I should fall for a kid who lives 14 hours away from me. But still. I just wonder.

It doesn't matter. I can wonder forever. I'll never find the answer and I'll always be in love with you. Because yes, I am in love with you. It's just food for thought.

Look at Your Life

"What are we doing with our lives?"

"The utmost best things ever"

Worst Birthday Ever

To top it all off? You didn't even say Happy Birthday