I Need A Robot

A theatre robot. Who can emote and knows every play ever published. It gets updated once a month. When I need to audition for something, it will recommend monologues and songs for me. When I have to learn a new scene, it will run lines with me.

I NEED THIS TO BE REAL RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE THREE PAGES OF LINES AND I'M BARELY OKAY ON PAGE ONE.

IM5 sans 1/5

OMG I'M GONNA SOB

We've actually known about Dalton leaving for. What. A week now? Something like that. But everyone's being super supportive of Dalton's choice. But it has been hard of course. And I'm sure the boys are doing all they can. But Cole is like, not even pretending to be okay. COLTON IS REAL (and by that I mean they were fantastic friends and I can't wait until they're like 30 something and their kids are like amazed that a guy from IM5 and a guy from FlyAwayHero have anything in common, let alone managed to stay friends for flippin ever). Boybands are a helluva drug.

(I am a year and some change older than these children. I've never even met them. I'm such a CREEP)

Shins

My shins are angry with me. They're mad because I didn't stretch properly before jogging today. They've been yelling at me since this morning. Hah. I'm so sorry T.T

Now to lie here until the pain goes away.

I COULD do my assignments for tomorrow and study for the midterms.

OR I could rewatch Avatar: the Last Airbender.

(As much as I wanna do the latter, I probably won't start homework until like 9 and won't start A:TLA until, like, Friday)

Problems without Solutions

Yes. We need more queer roles & actors.
Yes. We need more trans roles & actors.
Yes. We need more colored roles & actors.
Yes. We need more female roles & actors.
Yes. We need more overweight roles & actors.
We need stories that are realistic, unoffensive, honest, and empowering.

WE ARE ALL AWARE THERE NEEDS TO BE A CHANGE IN THE INDUSTRY.

HOWEVER.

Instead of constantly complaining about it, I'd love some ideas. Write the script. Go ahead. Write a script that includes all of this. That is accurate. That has strong messages. Write the whole thing. And then find a way to sell it to the masses. I'm not kidding. Someone do it. Please. Someone do it. Because clearly it's incredibly easy and the change can be immediate so go ahead. Be the person to change it!

I need people to realize that this will not be an overnight change. If you can be the one to make it so, congratulations, you're better than the rest of us. Otherwise, you need to realize that we live in a society where change takes time. Jared Leto played a transsexual individual. He himself is not a transsexual. The fact that the role was even allowed in a popular film is a huge step from where we once were. Disney had its first black princess in 2009. Most of the movie, she was an animal, but she was still a black princess, which would never have happened in Walt's day. Actress Melissa McCarthy is a stout woman who has become very successful in her field. She gets a lot of hate and harsh words from the media, but she still gets great roles because she is recognized for her talent. Should we be satisfied with this and leave it at that? No. But stop being so angry. Change is coming. And yes, push for change to continue. But stop yelling and shouting because all that's doing is annoying people and making people like me, who agree with you, want to stop caring. There's a way to peacefully fight for things. And your argument is a lot more effective if you can speak eloquently without cursing every other sentence.

The Thing About Katy Perry

Even when she manages to get some impressive lyrics, someone always sings her songs better than she does.

2/17/14 - 1:43 - Jonathan

remember Sammi?
the one who i thought for over a year killed herself but then i randomly found out she was alive when she randomly texted me after my senior year?

I lived with that for almost 3 years

and she randomly texts me saying "hey, you never sang me that Panic at the Disco song like you promised q.q"

it took me a week to believe that it was her
it turns out that she was in a hospital because her seizures got EXTREMELY bad and her parents told NO ONE

so all of her friends texted and messaged me

blaming me for her death

constantly

i'm talking to her right now. i have been for a week

and i'm really freaking out right now because i'm opening up and yeah
the voices came back, i'm shaking, sweating, and it's hard to look at her
 

i mean. would it be better not to talk to her?

I need to Sammy I need to.
never actually broke up, just always thought she was dead.

you know what the worst part is?

she looks exactly the same since the last time I saw her.

I want the voices to go away

i want to stop shaking

i wish i had never met her yet at the same time i want everything back

you can't forget her

but i think it could be good youre talking again. its hard but. she's here. you've wanted her to be back. and. she is.

i can't get my head wrapped around that

i can't

she's. still. fucking. dead. to. me.

but. she's there. you saw her. you're talking to her.

but she's still dead, sammy. she is 6ft, underground, dead.

how

SHE JUST IS

OKAY?

alright. im sorry

no. i am.

i just

i dont know

 

I'm scared. And I'm broken. And I can't help him. I don't know what to say. Or how to help. I don't have to be the one to make it better but someone does and I'm scared that no one will. I'm scared that he has to suffer through this. I need help. Please. Please. I love him. I lied to myself. I love him so much. And he was never mine. And he doesn't have to be. I just want him to finally be happy. Why can't he ever be happy? I really don't know how to make it okay.

What Jonathan Taught Me

Alternate Working Title: Life Lessons Learned by Loving Lieder. 

But I'm not that pressed for alliteration.

1. Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they should be together.
2. You can love someone with absolutely everything you have. It doesn't guarantee they will share your feelings.
3. You can't change people. You can't save them.
4. You aren't alone in the whole heartbreak department. Usually, they work in chains. And you are not the end of the chain.
5. Musicians make excellent lovers. Until you fall in love with them.
6. You can't get over someone by finding someone new. Your body rejects them, and your heart feels like you're lying to it.
7. You are not the exception. You are the rule.