Suicide Squad

I HAVE SO MANY FREAKING FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CRAPPY MOVIE OMG IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN RELEASED YET.

Firstly, Jared Leto. Mind you, I didn't know anything about it until a search just now, but now I'm aware. I am all about trusting rape accusations and listening to those who are brave enough to speak up, but something about this just doesn't feel legitimate. I'm staying out of it, because a few tumblr posts does not educate me on the subject at all. HOWEVER, I'm more than a little tired of bad directors leading to bad press for Leto. It happened with Dallas Buyers Club when everyone was angry that he wasn't trans but played trans (heaven forbid actors play something they are not). That is 120% the fault of the casting director. Leto did all he could to portray the role well. Why be angry with him? And when it comes to the joker, I don't know if I'll like his performance. Jack has always been my favorite joker. I'm not sure if I like where this joker is going, and I don't know if that's bad acting choices or bad directing choices. But this meme about Jared & his director is so stupid. Not the meme itself, because it's admittedly pretty funny. But like, his director needs to chill tf out. He clearly doesn't know anything about Jared Leto. Much as I love that man, he's a child and a little punk and he always has been. He does stuff like this all the time. That doesn't make him the Joker incarnate. Chill. Please.

Furthermore, they are doing my girls dirty. I don't appreciate it. These costumes are a hot ass mess. I mean they look good, the girls look good, but you're not doing these characters justice! We get it, the actresses are hot. That's not the point of these incredibly complex and memorable characters. And everyone in the world knows I love me some Harley Quinn. I adore her, she's my favorite comic book character period. But they're treating her all wrong. Yes she's fun and quirky and insane! But she's not a ditz! She is humorous and says weird crap but the trailer made her playful banter look so damn forced! Need I remind you HARLEEN QUINZEL IS A FREAKING GENIUS. I don't need to talk more about that, there's an article online that more than accurately articulates my frustrations with how Harley is being handled. Yes, Harley is a badass, but I think Suicide Squad is showing the wrong sides of her. People won't love her because she's brilliant and devoted and strong and a SURVIVOR, they'll love her 'cause she's hot and fun and the Joker's play thing. I'm upset. I'M UPSET.

I have so many feelings. Oh my goodness.

Sometimes

Every now and again.

I think back to a boy who was stupidly charming. Who would spout off Greek histories as if he had lived them. Who saw a lot of good in me that I did not see in myself. A boy who said howdy. Wore RT merch and flannel. A boy who lived out in a wide open space. Who knew how to answer when I said "tell me something". And knew that he could ask it, too. Who dreamed just as big as I did about all of the things to come. A boy who promised me the world after barely knowing me a week. Who sang to me. Whose voice became deeper and raspier as the night went on and he found the courage to say the most indecent things. And it was fun. And stupid. And crazy. But fun.

And I'm so glad I found the strength to leave that boy behind. And I wonder if I'll ever be lucky enough to find all the fun and the daydreams that he brought me with someone else. Someone who is also mature and honest and committed. And who I don't have to worry about kissing. Someone who exists through more than screens. Someone just as playful, who knows when it's time to stop playing.

Soundtrack of My Life 2015

January - Sheets by Shannon Saunders
February - Take Shelter by Years and Years
March - Storm on the Sea by Fly Away Hero
April - Unbreakable Smile by Tori Kelly
May - Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots
June - Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy
July - Over My Head by the Fray
August - Done With Love by Zedd
September - Can't Sleep Love by Pentatonix feat. Tink
October - Hollow by Tori Kelly & Bottled Up by Tori Kelly
November - Funny by Tori Kelly & Should've Been Us (Live) by Tori Kelly
December - I Am Understood by Relient K

Songs of the Year: Storm on the Sea by Fly Away Hero & Should've Been Us by Tori Kelly

Why does this seem like a bad idea?

Does anyone else think this seems like a bad idea?
Because I think this seems like a bad idea!
I think this seems like a very VERY BAD IDEA!!!

I'm scurred.

(sidenote, I don't know how I feel about the fact that I got two Jonathan visits all to myself, and all the rest of them may be divided between Mandy and Stephanie. Mandy, I have no problem with because it's for her health and she's my baby. But Stephanie [not as a person, but as the motivation for a visit] rubs me the wrong way. ALSO THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP I SUPPORT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM BUT IT'S GONNA BE MY JOB TO MAKE SURE NEITHER OF THEM DIE AND IF HE MESSES UP WOW EVERYONE IS GONNA HATE MY BEST FRIEND BUT IF SHE MESSES UP WOW IT'S GONNA TAKE ALL I HAVE FOR ME NOT TO KILL HER. Wow I am shouting within parentheses; I feel like this is no longer a secondary thought)

Maybe it's fine. Maybe he'll change his mind. Or maybe she won't be interested and she'll just turn him down and nothing will be weird at all.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

November 2015

Was literally out to kill me. So you get two songs again. BOTH BY TORI KELLY. Both live versions, too. Literally this girl should win artist of the year at every award show 'cause isn't this like the sixth song of hers on here or something?

Funny (Live) by Tori Kelly
Should've Been Us by Tori Kelly (2015 VMAs version)

I like the VMAs version of this song better for this occasion. The studio feels so upbeat and reminiscent. The live one is just so raw and real. I would love to know who made her feel some type of way to make her sing with that much power.

October 2015

Soundtrack of my life

It's a tie this month, but both songs are by Tori Kelly.
Hollow and Bottled Up

UB

One day, I am gonna find each and every one of the Upward Bound staff members and hug them and thank them for all the amazing wonderful things they did for me. I want to thank them for changing my life in the best way possible and giving me an incredible four years and basis for my future.

Not the students though, 'cause those idiots dropped me like it was hot and I ain't even mad. I will always have love for the underclassmen ladies, and of course Eric and Xabiel. But that's about it.