Sometimes

Every now and again.

I think back to a boy who was stupidly charming. Who would spout off Greek histories as if he had lived them. Who saw a lot of good in me that I did not see in myself. A boy who said howdy. Wore RT merch and flannel. A boy who lived out in a wide open space. Who knew how to answer when I said "tell me something". And knew that he could ask it, too. Who dreamed just as big as I did about all of the things to come. A boy who promised me the world after barely knowing me a week. Who sang to me. Whose voice became deeper and raspier as the night went on and he found the courage to say the most indecent things. And it was fun. And stupid. And crazy. But fun.

And I'm so glad I found the strength to leave that boy behind. And I wonder if I'll ever be lucky enough to find all the fun and the daydreams that he brought me with someone else. Someone who is also mature and honest and committed. And who I don't have to worry about kissing. Someone who exists through more than screens. Someone just as playful, who knows when it's time to stop playing.