I'm putting these words out into the universe.
After watching Nestor & Abby argue and pick on each other all the time, I think a few of us can't help but wonder if Abby has actual feelings. I think Nestor might be somewhat protective of her, but that's probably all. Then again who knows. What do I know? Every time I think I know him, he proves me wrong. Abby, meanwhile, I think might develop feelings. It's complicated. She and I are both aware that, due to the little that she knows about him, she holds him on a sort of pedestal. She considers him an acquaintance, not a friend, but she looks up to him. Because she knows he is a good guy, the kind of guy she wants to be with one day (except Nestor specifically is too serious and boring for her and they would fight a lot she says haha). The fact that she feels like she's not good enough for him kills her because in her mind that means she won't be good enough for the right guy when he comes along either. In terms of Nestor, she just feels like a disappointment. My theory is, especially because of how Samira talks about him, Abby might be searching for a father figure or a brother figure in Nestor. She just hasn't found a similar energy in other guys so Nestor is all she kind of has at the moment. She doesn't want to disappoint him but she feels like she lets him down, even though she thinks that realistically he probably doesn't care. I think it's entirely possible that she might develop feelings because she's looking for protection and will mistake that caring relationship for a romantic one. She also says she knows it's not like that because this feels nothing like when she catches feelings for someone. So who knows. I dunno if I would be prepared for that relationship. Allowing ourselves to think that far, I wouldn't necessarily mind because I love them both and only want them to be happy with good partners. But if something went wrong I don't know how I could ever choose a side. And despite being over Nestor, I think it'd be a hit to my ego. I'd somehow make it about why I wasn't good enough, which I think I'm less likely to do if he meets someone brand new. Funny how that works - when I prayed about Nick's new partner I always wanted it to be someone I knew!
Abby called him an acquaintance. Jaroll says he's not a friend or acquaintance, he's a friend from church which is a whole different category. He says I've crossed over to friends because I'm "just that amazing", to which Abby agreed. I think they mean it. I hope they do because I don't have a separate category for them. It makes me really wonder how they all view each other. What are we to one another?
Showing posts with label Youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Youth. Show all posts
Monday, August 6, 2018
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Youth Group Confessions - An Update
3. Bro. Do not disappoint me.
4. Gurla. Please. DO you realize HOW MUCH I want to be you? Honestly. Please don't change that. Don't be jealous of me (if you are I cannot fathom why you every would be). Please don't make me suspicious. Please please please stay a friend to me.
6. Welp. F*ck.
7. Hah no. I've lost all hope for you. Absolute lost cause. I do not deal well with blatant hypocrisy. I don't have time for it. As a result, I don't have time for you. I'm not putting up with your bull and your lies so buena suerte mijo. Hope somebody down the road saves you from this mess. I know I can't. But NO ONE can help you if you won't help yourself. So deuces. I say goodbye to this unhealthy person in my life.
11. 2/3 of you are still in my favor. The third one managed to freaking slip haha. Seriously kid. Why follow me on twitter? Why? What possessed you? Like, now I can see all the dumb stuff you post. I know English is not your first language, and I am not even going to fault you for that. But IT DOESN'T HELP THAT THE ONLY THING YOU SPELL RIGHT IS THE CURSE WORDS. SOMETIMES. Uysh, another unhealthy one. I didn't even know you bro. And thanks to you, I'm looking to keep it that way.
4. Gurla. Please. DO you realize HOW MUCH I want to be you? Honestly. Please don't change that. Don't be jealous of me (if you are I cannot fathom why you every would be). Please don't make me suspicious. Please please please stay a friend to me.
6. Welp. F*ck.
7. Hah no. I've lost all hope for you. Absolute lost cause. I do not deal well with blatant hypocrisy. I don't have time for it. As a result, I don't have time for you. I'm not putting up with your bull and your lies so buena suerte mijo. Hope somebody down the road saves you from this mess. I know I can't. But NO ONE can help you if you won't help yourself. So deuces. I say goodbye to this unhealthy person in my life.
11. 2/3 of you are still in my favor. The third one managed to freaking slip haha. Seriously kid. Why follow me on twitter? Why? What possessed you? Like, now I can see all the dumb stuff you post. I know English is not your first language, and I am not even going to fault you for that. But IT DOESN'T HELP THAT THE ONLY THING YOU SPELL RIGHT IS THE CURSE WORDS. SOMETIMES. Uysh, another unhealthy one. I didn't even know you bro. And thanks to you, I'm looking to keep it that way.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Confessions for the Youth Group
1. Sometimes. Every now and again. I think you're too trained. Like there's little personality and so much politeness. But honestly, you're fantastic. You're loving and funny and laid back and I admire so many things about you. You're a role model for me. You always do what's right and are so giving. You're always willing to listen and advise, and I can't thank you enough for that.
2. Darling, you can be a bit judgmental. It's kinda your mom's fault. But it's okay. You're so young. You have so much to learn. But you really are mature for your age and I cannot wait to see the lovely young lady you become. You're so honest and effing hilarious and I've truly enjoyed getting to know you.
3. I was a brat to you. I didn't like being talked about so I avoided you with passionate anger for most of our lives. That was wrong and I'm so sorry. Thanks for, mostly, being kind to me. I wish I'd gotten to know you better. There's lots of good in you, I know that. I hope this year brings more good. 'Cause some serious changes need to be made, I hope you know that. You NEED to be a lot more humble, respectful, and sincere. And some of your bad habits need to stop. You have someone to fight for, so fight for her. THE RIGHT WAY. But in all honesty, for some reason, I have total faith that you can do it.
4. I mean yeah I'm pretty dang jealous of you. 'Cause everyone, EVERYONE, loves you. And you're so pretty and talented and good with kids and so kind and smart. Geez you just walk in a room and the sun shines a little brighter. There's so much good in you, please see it. 'Cause something's not right, hon. There's a darkness in you and, as justified as it may be, it needs to go. You need to talk to someone. You need to seek help. And learn to take advice and criticism. Don't get mad at other people and don't get mad at yourself! Learn to take it, consider it, and use it to better yourself. Also, be an example. And I realize you think this kid is your miracle sent to give you everything you never had, but you can't rely on people like that. Don't become dependent. Realize that he's not the only one who is like that (trust and believe I've WATCHED your family try to connect to you like he does and they just feel so shut out), you just don't WANT anyone but his help 'cause you've romanticized it and that's not okay. I know I'm just a kid to you and this stuff does not matter coming from me but I say it because I love you and I want your star to get out of this lonely dark abyss and shine brighter than anyone ever has before.
5. How did you figure things out so young? Maybe your family just does a good job of painting the picture perfect family. I know you struggle. It's hard. But you got it figured out! I'm so impressed and amazed by you. Thank you for keeping me sane. Keep me updated. You're gonna do such amazing things, and you'll thank your parents and your church and your whole social network and we'll know that it was honestly all God and you. I want to keep you in my life always dear.
6. Frustrate is a good word. Because I do want to get to know you and I wish you acted like you wanted to get to know me. But that's my obsessive personality. And you're introverted so it just makes sense. But I'm glad we can enjoy each other's company. I'm so happy that we are friends, and I'm glad that, even if you don't tell anyone anything, I feel like I actually can talk to you about my life and you're willing to listen. Maybe I can't make you laugh but God knows I try. Honestly, if you weren't going through so much and I knew you had a clear mind, I would've asked you out myself long ago. But this friendship is pretty great. And I know for absolute fact you'll be okay. Son, you are one of the realest people I know. You got this. You're gonna figure it all out and blow everyone's mind with the awesome things you'll do. It'll take a while, maybe a few more years. But you and her and all of us are going to be just fine. It's gonna hurt. Day after day after day you are going to hurt. And then you won't. And it'll be glorious. Sidenote, dunno if you'll ever love anyone the way you loved her. So you may very well end up on your ownsome. But know that that's all on you. Don't ever say it's 'cause you're not good enough. You're a freaking catch. You realize we've almost all had a crush on you at one point, yes? Like, bro. BRO.
7. You are a great person. You make me smile. You're super kind. You're good with kids. You've got a lot going right, my friend. Now, I dunno if your life is where it should be. I'm scared because you may have strayed. But I think you know that. And I think you're getting your priorities in check. I'll keep praying for you. Because I don't want to fear for you. I want you right here with us for all time. It'll be great! I'm also really glad that you've found someone to look up to and be a leader to you. I hope it's of blessing to your life.
8. Babydoll. I do not know how to help you or how to fix what has been so broken. I can't begin. You do need the help. You do. And the longer you deny that, the worse off you'll be. And I do not agree with a lot of your choices. You worry me. But you need to take good care of yourself. You have people to look after now. And I know you will. I see it. You just need to realize you are worth SO MUCH. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS KIND. YOU IS IMPORTANT. Seriously. You are actually so smart. You are crazy talented. You are innovative. You have some of the craziest stories. You're like this odd fountain of knowledge. You are young and learning, but that's okay! As long as you try to learn. Take things in. Don't let the world or ANYONE mold you. You'll find the right path, I know it. And once you find it, I will support you every step. Trust me, you mean loads to us, and you always will.
9. I don't have much to say. You're so young and I don't know you all that well. You're talkative. You're kinda oblivious sometimes. And you're so set in your ways for someone so young. But you're a good listener, a gentleman, talented, smart, friendly, and just pleasant to be around. I like the way you carry yourself. You're also a wonderful brother. Good job, kiddo.
10. You'll find your way. Please ignore what everyone is saying. Stay charming. Stay personal. Stay close and cuddly and affectionate. Stay driven. Stay romantic. But stay respectful. Learn boundaries. Converse and compromise. Emotions are beautiful and wonderful and meant to be shared, but extremes are such a dangerous thing. Learn to balance your feelings and life will follow. Don't apologize for love, but apologize when lines are crossed, feelings are hurt, or words are misunderstood. And remember that you are young and there's plenty of time for God to tell you which path to take. Just keep walking, look out for signs, adjust as necessary, and have faith. And take care of that family of yours.
11. To the three gentlemen who I have left out. My apologies, I do not know you too well. And that may be my own fault, I don't know. But I've enjoyed my time with you. I see a lot of good in you boys. Talent. Kindness. Willingness to learn. Drive. Seriously, I have no doubt you'll all surprise me with incredible things one day. Stay gold, guys. And know that, even if I don't know you so well, I'm always here and happy to be a friend to you.
2. Darling, you can be a bit judgmental. It's kinda your mom's fault. But it's okay. You're so young. You have so much to learn. But you really are mature for your age and I cannot wait to see the lovely young lady you become. You're so honest and effing hilarious and I've truly enjoyed getting to know you.
3. I was a brat to you. I didn't like being talked about so I avoided you with passionate anger for most of our lives. That was wrong and I'm so sorry. Thanks for, mostly, being kind to me. I wish I'd gotten to know you better. There's lots of good in you, I know that. I hope this year brings more good. 'Cause some serious changes need to be made, I hope you know that. You NEED to be a lot more humble, respectful, and sincere. And some of your bad habits need to stop. You have someone to fight for, so fight for her. THE RIGHT WAY. But in all honesty, for some reason, I have total faith that you can do it.
4. I mean yeah I'm pretty dang jealous of you. 'Cause everyone, EVERYONE, loves you. And you're so pretty and talented and good with kids and so kind and smart. Geez you just walk in a room and the sun shines a little brighter. There's so much good in you, please see it. 'Cause something's not right, hon. There's a darkness in you and, as justified as it may be, it needs to go. You need to talk to someone. You need to seek help. And learn to take advice and criticism. Don't get mad at other people and don't get mad at yourself! Learn to take it, consider it, and use it to better yourself. Also, be an example. And I realize you think this kid is your miracle sent to give you everything you never had, but you can't rely on people like that. Don't become dependent. Realize that he's not the only one who is like that (trust and believe I've WATCHED your family try to connect to you like he does and they just feel so shut out), you just don't WANT anyone but his help 'cause you've romanticized it and that's not okay. I know I'm just a kid to you and this stuff does not matter coming from me but I say it because I love you and I want your star to get out of this lonely dark abyss and shine brighter than anyone ever has before.
5. How did you figure things out so young? Maybe your family just does a good job of painting the picture perfect family. I know you struggle. It's hard. But you got it figured out! I'm so impressed and amazed by you. Thank you for keeping me sane. Keep me updated. You're gonna do such amazing things, and you'll thank your parents and your church and your whole social network and we'll know that it was honestly all God and you. I want to keep you in my life always dear.
6. Frustrate is a good word. Because I do want to get to know you and I wish you acted like you wanted to get to know me. But that's my obsessive personality. And you're introverted so it just makes sense. But I'm glad we can enjoy each other's company. I'm so happy that we are friends, and I'm glad that, even if you don't tell anyone anything, I feel like I actually can talk to you about my life and you're willing to listen. Maybe I can't make you laugh but God knows I try. Honestly, if you weren't going through so much and I knew you had a clear mind, I would've asked you out myself long ago. But this friendship is pretty great. And I know for absolute fact you'll be okay. Son, you are one of the realest people I know. You got this. You're gonna figure it all out and blow everyone's mind with the awesome things you'll do. It'll take a while, maybe a few more years. But you and her and all of us are going to be just fine. It's gonna hurt. Day after day after day you are going to hurt. And then you won't. And it'll be glorious. Sidenote, dunno if you'll ever love anyone the way you loved her. So you may very well end up on your ownsome. But know that that's all on you. Don't ever say it's 'cause you're not good enough. You're a freaking catch. You realize we've almost all had a crush on you at one point, yes? Like, bro. BRO.
7. You are a great person. You make me smile. You're super kind. You're good with kids. You've got a lot going right, my friend. Now, I dunno if your life is where it should be. I'm scared because you may have strayed. But I think you know that. And I think you're getting your priorities in check. I'll keep praying for you. Because I don't want to fear for you. I want you right here with us for all time. It'll be great! I'm also really glad that you've found someone to look up to and be a leader to you. I hope it's of blessing to your life.
8. Babydoll. I do not know how to help you or how to fix what has been so broken. I can't begin. You do need the help. You do. And the longer you deny that, the worse off you'll be. And I do not agree with a lot of your choices. You worry me. But you need to take good care of yourself. You have people to look after now. And I know you will. I see it. You just need to realize you are worth SO MUCH. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS KIND. YOU IS IMPORTANT. Seriously. You are actually so smart. You are crazy talented. You are innovative. You have some of the craziest stories. You're like this odd fountain of knowledge. You are young and learning, but that's okay! As long as you try to learn. Take things in. Don't let the world or ANYONE mold you. You'll find the right path, I know it. And once you find it, I will support you every step. Trust me, you mean loads to us, and you always will.
9. I don't have much to say. You're so young and I don't know you all that well. You're talkative. You're kinda oblivious sometimes. And you're so set in your ways for someone so young. But you're a good listener, a gentleman, talented, smart, friendly, and just pleasant to be around. I like the way you carry yourself. You're also a wonderful brother. Good job, kiddo.
10. You'll find your way. Please ignore what everyone is saying. Stay charming. Stay personal. Stay close and cuddly and affectionate. Stay driven. Stay romantic. But stay respectful. Learn boundaries. Converse and compromise. Emotions are beautiful and wonderful and meant to be shared, but extremes are such a dangerous thing. Learn to balance your feelings and life will follow. Don't apologize for love, but apologize when lines are crossed, feelings are hurt, or words are misunderstood. And remember that you are young and there's plenty of time for God to tell you which path to take. Just keep walking, look out for signs, adjust as necessary, and have faith. And take care of that family of yours.
11. To the three gentlemen who I have left out. My apologies, I do not know you too well. And that may be my own fault, I don't know. But I've enjoyed my time with you. I see a lot of good in you boys. Talent. Kindness. Willingness to learn. Drive. Seriously, I have no doubt you'll all surprise me with incredible things one day. Stay gold, guys. And know that, even if I don't know you so well, I'm always here and happy to be a friend to you.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
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