I Am Scared

I was thinking about the person who said those awful things to me back in... April I guess it was. I've kinda made my peace with it. I know that person won't like me and that's fine. We can still be civil, it's not a big deal. But it just scared me to think about how many other people may feel that way. And how many of my friends I may end up losing. And then, today, to see Jason's status just did it. He posted something about Lootcrate making him cringe. The monthly subscription that other people get because it has fun, cute items from various places related to their interests... makes him cringe. Is he that much of a hipster? Is he so terribly affected by the happiness of others? Why can't he ever be happy for someone or post something positive or dare to like what other people like instead of always criticizing every little thing? But the thing is there is no point in me saying anything because then he'll say I'm being ridiculous and taking it too seriously. He might even go as far as to think what the previous person thought. I dunno. I guess I don't want that negativity in my life anyway. But then, who else is like that? How many people am I gonna have to let go of? I'm so bad at that. How many people? Put that on top of Margie not wanting to leave Japan and Charlotte too busy with Spencer and the girls I grew up with all entirely different people now and my church never helping me feel like I belong and even LuzKarime just being far too busy at all times. I haven't felt this lonely in a while. And it hurts. And I'm sure there's plenty of people I can count on that I know will always be there for me. But it's hard to think right now. And I just wanna cry. And I don't even know who to cry to. And I hate being this clingy little mess that I've always been. I hate feeling like I don't matter.