What If No

I thought about your alternate world theory. And how there's different dimensions where one little changed decision changes entire lives. I dunno if they exist. I related it to God, and how he knows everything that will happen, and how each little thing could be affected by another little thing. So. I wondered.

What if we hadn't met?

At first I thought:

What would you be if I weren't in your life? Would you be worse off? Maybe you'd have a girlfriend by now. Maybe you wouldn't know Samie. Or you'd be on your way to marry her. How about all the bad stuff. Or would you trust anyone. Or maybe you'd be nicer. Or a better boyfriend. I don't know. I'm not you.

And then I thought:

What would I be if you weren't in my life?

And the very first answer I came up with was "Happy?" And I regretted it immediately. I don't know. I can't imagine. I don't want to know. This is why God's in charge. He can know. But I don't want to.