Blessings In Disguise (Pt. 2)

Angelique has never been my favorite person. That's a lie. She was once. But it's been a very long time. And after the major mistake I made in November, I felt our relationship was absolutely broken. I thought I'd ruined everything forever, and I felt so guilty when I saw her that it made me physically ill. I was learning to cope with the idea that we'd never be able to exist in the same space comfortably. And within the formality of church, that seemed like it was just my new reality.

Ang is filling in at work this week. Since so many people have been on vacation, she was called to help out around the office. She's had several positions in the office before, so she can handle it. She's done with her summer job with her school so now she's fully available to work at the office temporarily and even go to our church again. I was kind of devastated when I found out. I was scared to be at work. I wanted to count down the days until she left again. But it's not necessary. I don't know if it's the different setting or what, but everything is just so much easier. We can joke with each other. We can have genuine conversations. We work together. And it's pleasant. The whole thing feels so easy. I don't feel any animosity. And that's all I've wanted for so long. I wanted God to take those negative feelings away and help us support one another despite our different paths in life. I finally feel okay doing that.

I don't expect us to be best friends now. We're far too different. We barely see each other. There's a lot of things she says and believes that I just can't support or agree with. I'm not entirely too keen on getting close to someone who posts about #AllLivesMatter or makes every conversation about her school or her boyfriend. But we're friendly. We're civil. We can move past the idiotic mistakes we (I) made and love one another as we're called to do. I'm surprised at how relieved I feel. But I do. Finally.